I’m experiencing more ambivalence about this half marathon business. My 3-miler was tough and slow today, I just didn’t have the energy. Damn low carb. But I’m getting more used to it, and it’s becoming easier, as any diet does. I did have a drink or two last night–hard liquor only, of course, as it has no carbs. 🙂
So referencing back to the post I wrote awhile ago about athletes and their neuroses and competitiveness to the bitter end, I’m still trying to sort out why running is so hard for me to really accept into my life. I ran cross country and track, and even track in college, so why the beef with it now?
Because I never really loved running. I never step on the trail, breathe in deep, feel my body hit the dirt, and sigh, thinking ‘This is so wonderful.’ The day can wonderful, or I can be excited about a time, but the run itself? Yuck. But it’s not just a non-love for running, because plenty of people don’t love it but can enjoy it.
It’s that all my life, running was a means to an end. My high school basketball coach forced us to run cross country, and when I was fast, she took note. In preseason workouts during college, the strength and conditioning coach was so impressed with my speed that he raved about me to the head coach. I ran college track because I quit basketball and didn’t know what else to do with myself. Running has never been the end in itself.
So can I change my mindset? Can I “trick” myself or re-teach myself to consider running the game?
Running is the game, running is the game, running is the game, running is the game, running is the game, running is the game…